So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
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