I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize