$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
