it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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