that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
this just has baby written all over it
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
