We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have two assholes
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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