I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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