areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
