kristin has been a bad kristin
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
