The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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