reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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