No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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