Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
This is my gift to your gina
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
