I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The air was thick with penises
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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