Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize