I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You are a genius and a whore.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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