On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
