I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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