everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
