I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
