Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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