ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
