my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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