hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
