i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I hate all girls vehemently.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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