so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
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