Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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