question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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