We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
