she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
