i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
