he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
