Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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