this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
