Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
