We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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