i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
