I have demons in me.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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