...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
