I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
