I am full of burrito and curiosity
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm gonna fight the coyote
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
