My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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