We won't sleep together?
Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I cockslap morals
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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