# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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