JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
