Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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