worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
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Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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