Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
