those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Dignity is for republicans.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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