16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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