It's Friday. Sex?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
