I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
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My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
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Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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