dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize