hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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