I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize