I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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