i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
