You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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