And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
