I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
