all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
