i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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