Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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