he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My breasts were aching with rage.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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